Come stand on the blank page with me

I am not ashamed of getting divorced. Divorce has been a winnowing experience for me.

First, I cleared physical clutter from my life, giving up things that I did not need in order to stay close to my girls. I budgeted carefully, gave up my car and simplified my spending habits so that I could stay home.

Then I cleared out emotional clutter, letting go of relationships with people who did not believe in me. I was told to get a real job or to stop homeschooling or to parent differently. I was told that everything bad that was happening to me was my fault.

But there were other people, people who stood by me, and I couldn’t have made it through this year without their support. (more…)

Continue Reading

Stop And Smell The Flowers

This winter I started meditating regularly. You would think it’s a practice of slowness, but my mind is naturally so busy that even in meditation I feel busy, wandering, mind unraveling and winding up and unspooling again and again. I tend to be so busy, so active, constantly picking and prodding each experiece and thought to analyze it and weigh it and understand it. But, over time, meditation has helped me to slow down, to just “be” more, to cultivate a light inside of me burried deep within. This essence of “being” has been growing under the surface… or at least my awareness of it has. (more…)

Continue Reading

Winnowing

The dishwasher was the first thing to break. I told myself that I’d rip it out of the wall, use the nook for muddy boots and yard supplies. The truth was I couldn’t afford to replace it or fix it.

I saw an ad on craigslist where a handyman would exchange household work for women’s panties, preferably unwashed ones. How desperate would someone be to make that choice? I never want to be in that position. I realize I need to make more money, find a reliable handyman. Money is freedom. (more…)

Continue Reading

Celebrating Contemporary Black Artists

Last year, to celebrate Black History Month, I did a series of portraits of important black female artists.
For Black History Month this year I want to step back and let the work of black artists speak for itself. We’re making our own stories right now & I feel it’s important to share those stories so that they can shape reality. Without further ado, I will let the following 11 Black Female Artists speak for themselves:

(more…)

Continue Reading

Nine New Affectionate Animal Couples

Just a couple weeks away is my first Valentine’s Day as a single mom. Holidays can be a lonely time for lots of people, I know, but divorce can amplify loneliness, especially when it’s fresh.

I keep wondering how I can show love to those around me, including those who have let me down. I don’t have all the answers, but I do believe that kindness is its own kind of bravery. (more…)

Continue Reading

I don’t know why.

Born of Starlight – Original Artwork 8×10 inches – $150.00 – BUY HERE

I don’t know why.

At night, after my girls drift off to sleep, I slide out from between their two warm bodies, slip out of my bedroom, and find a bit of space to sort through my thoughts about Matt leaving. I’ve been numb for months. But now that I’m starting to get a handle on my single-mom life, the parts of myself I’d shut off to survive are waking up, full of pain. And I’m tired. Of everything. (more…)

Continue Reading